... that Dennis Hopper died. Sad.
Monday, May 31, 2010
I got on the scale this morning and now I'm depressed. Great way to start out a post huh? Ever since I started weighing in on Friday's instead of Saturdays my cheat days goes from Friday into Saturday and carries over till Sunday. I really think I need to switch it back. I originally changed to Friday's because Friday night in my house (parents house) is pizza night and I didn't want to have to deal with that on my night before weigh-in every week. But this week we did have pizza on Thursday night instead and I still lost 0.8, which was more than I thought all week. So maybe having pizza consistently on fridays before weigh in will be fine.. I do have vegetarian anyway. hmmm.. I think this will be a plan. The only other thing that discourages me is I've heard that Sat's weigh in is lined up out the door, I don't like this, my meeting is already packed and we're in this tiny little room in the basement of the YMCA. Anyway, I can already tell I'm chatty this morning.
So, before this post gets too long I really have to recap the weekend because I had myself convinced that I didn't have such a bad weekend and I'd be up a couple pounds and no big deal, I always get it off and then some. So, I get on the scale this morning and I'm up over 6 lbs!! I can't believe it, I'm sure that I'm retaining fluid but seriously I have to now right out everything I ate this weekend and cringe all the way thru it and please don't judge me..lol I went off plan for 3 days and while it didn't feel like I ate constantly it was still nothing but crap! So.... this is my punishment.
Friday - Cheat Day:
Fruit explosion muffin
Stouffer's Mac & Cheese
2 - 3 cheese pizza pockets
1 slice of bread w/ margerine
Went out to dinner:
1 beer (I always drink light beer, it goes without saying but Canadian light beer is equal to regular American beer - just saying)
3 mozza sticks dipped in ranch dressing
Fish & Chips - hardly ate any fries, they were no good
Evening - more beer
(This doesn't include all the other things I nibbled on and can't remember)
All Bran Buds
6.8 km jog
3 bean chili
grilled cheese - made with vegan butter and rice cheese slices
That evening was my cousins Annual Lobster Feast Cottage Party
Let the debauchery begin.
Chips and more chips
Hot dog with bun
Cheese Oozy Guacamole Bean dip
tostitos scoops & multigrain rounds
2.5 lobsters dripping with butter
Chips & Beer
Hotdogs, Chips & Beer
Played lots of Wii... lol
1 hotdog with bun 2 more without bun
Came home and slept and slept
Footlong veggie sub
Bowl of special K (at 10pm)
Weight Friday morning 152.8
Weight Monday morning 159.4
I also just want to say, I wrote NONE of this down so who knows what else I ate and can't even recall. So sad, I'm the biggest advocate of journaling so when I don't I have major guilt about it.
I really feel like I need to be accountable and who best to confess to, the bloggers I love and who love and support me....... because you understand.
SO, this is it!! Back on plan. No more 3 days binge fests. Summer hasn't ever begun and I'm getting out of control. Before this weekend I had 3 lbs to lose to goal. I'm going to get back on plan strictly and get back to basics! If you're still reading thanks for listening.. lol. Heart peeps! xoxoxox
Sunday, May 30, 2010
... that Avatar is a great movie.
... not much else, had a very unenlightening day :) what are Sundays for.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
... that I have two new followers. Welcome Tami & Dawne!
... that I lost 0.8 lbs.
... that Stouffers Mac & Cheese have 520 cals, 25 g of fat and 1210 mg of sodium. UGH.. If it wasn't my cheat day I would have thrown it right in the garbage, however, I got the craving out of my system. Moving on!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
... that Alligators are born without a gender and their sex is determined by the temperature of the water they're in.
... that Wii Active is a blast. It doesn't tell you you're burning many calories but I was sweating.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
... that both Ghandi and Nelson Mandela were lawyers.
... who won BL and DWTS. I won't ruin it for anyone.
... that "Ciao" is an abbreviation for an Italian expression meaning "I am your slave."
... that Kate Gosselin is coming out with 2 new shows. Kate plus 8 and Twist of Kate. I'm excited.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
... a little about the book/movie Eat Pray Love. I have downloaded the audiobook and will listen to it while I jog. Has anyone read it? Thoughts?
... that Paula Abdul will be on American Idol tomorrow night for Simon's last episode. Sweet.
... that on this day in 1961, JFK announced that before the decade was out they would land a man on the moon and return him safely to earth.
Monday, May 24, 2010
... that I love making myself run further. I also burned 505 cal jogging today YAY!
... that Brett Michael's won Celeb Apprentice, good for him.
... that Brittany Murphy's husband died. Sad.
... what happened at the end of Lost. Wow! What did some other lost fans think??
Sunday, May 23, 2010
... that the Lost finale tonight is 2.5 hours long. I'm so excited and sad at the same time. booo.
... that I'm 10 times more comfortable in my new bathing suit poolside than trying it on in the dressing room. Why do dressing room mirrors suck so bad? Don't they want you to buy their clothes? All dressing rooms should be equiped with skinny mirrors.
... that its been days since I felt like I learned anything blog worthy. Sometimes the lessons are hard to find, still learning to pinpoint the lesson I guess. ;)
Saturday, May 22, 2010
... that Grey's Anatomy's last episode was intense.
... that Kenny Rogers is 71 and has 5 year old twins.
... that rice cheese is really good and I finally found a vegan cheese that melts!!
... that I lost 1.8 at WW, and I'm four pounds away from goal.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Its weigh in day again. I'm feeling pretty good about it I think. I didn't manage to stay within my points all week but the last few days I did and that felt awesome! I'm been dropping all week little by little and I've hit a new low this morning 153.8. YAY. It will be a little more when I get to WW obviously because I always weigh at home sans clothes, but I should still see a nice little loss. I've been able to run a few days this week and I've worked hard with my dad a lot too and that always burns a ton of calories.
So, to talk a little more about this dream job I mentioned before, I'm so excited you can't even imagine. I had said that I draw for a living and what I actually draw is blueprints, mainly commercial buildings, and I love it! I work independently right now but theres just not enough work, finding clients is the hardest part of working for yourself I've found. While theres always tons of work all over the country, companies are leary about hiring someone they've never met and is so far away. Having said all that, there is this job that I've wanted in this town ever since I went to college. Its a major grocery store chain that I worked for since I was 15 and I always wanted to design their stores and remodels and renovations and so on. Well, I completed my internship there and ever since just dreamed of working there, not to mention that there corporate office is a pretty coveted place to work if you live in this town. I never thought that one of these positions would actually become available and it has. I've applied, and also made a phone call to this guy that oversees this position and I know him. Did I mention that my father worked for this company for over 40 years before he retired, and had a pretty sweet position? Well, of course he's already offered to make a phone call but I really feel that the contacts I've made for myself as well as my resume should speak for themselves....................... unless I don't get a call.. lol then they have a major flaw in their system and they will be getting a call haha. The fact of the matter remains though, I am more than qualified for this job, not only should I be guaranteed an interview I should get this job.
Ladies, I've asked everyone to put out positive vibes for me and I need yours too. Positive, positive, positive. Of course I may not get it and I don't want you all to feel bad for me if I don't... it just means someone else was more qualified and of course that might happen, but I'm going to try and remain positve, positive, positive. Also, it doesn't close till the 31 so I have a long time to wait.. blah.
Ok I'm off to WW, wish me luck. Geez I'm asking for a lot these days.. lol
Thursday, May 20, 2010
... that my brother won $500 in a draw. Lucky bugger.
... that Simon Cowell has a piece of every spinoff of X Factor and Britain's Got Talent. Can you imagine??
... that Casey James got voted off American Idol.
... that Regis & Kelly are coming to PEI.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
... that weight watchers makes sandwich thins for 1 pt. I haven't tried them, but I def will.
... that Tofutti Sour Cream is delish.
... that Fibre Plus bars a really good, especially the chocolatey peanut butter ones, and only 2 pts. I was ready to count it as 4.. lol.
... that working hard can be a good thing if I have a good attitude about it.
... that my dream job has opened up in my town. Omg omg omg!!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
... that a friend is struggling with her blog and that makes me sad.
... that I am way too exhausted to stay up for Lost - thank god for pvr.
... that I am waaaaay behind on my blog reading, I can't believe how it just gets away from me if I'm away from my laptop for a few days. Sorry peeps, but I will read each and every one.
Monday, May 17, 2010
... that my family all had a wonderful time in Cuba and they're back safe & sound.
... that La Vie En Rose is expensive and that trying on bathing suits when you're 2 feet from the mirror - not a good idea. I had to buy a pair of shoes just to make myself feel better.
... that even though I run, my legs are in rough shape. I need an new exercise to tone them.. ugh
Friday, May 14, 2010
Find your passion in life... and then find a way to get paid to do it.
My mother said this to me in my teens and I never forgot it. Its why I draw for a "living" I just have to figure out how to get paid more.. lol.
Does anyone else sit around sometimes naming your unborn children? Ok well, if not, then I guess I just made a weird confession. I am obsessed with names. All the time I'll hear a name and I'll pause and go hmmm and say the name to myself and think thats a nice name. Usually if my bf's with me I'll ask him if he likes that name. Oh and let me just say this first, not only does he not like to play this game but he rarely likes any of the names I bring up... usually his response is "no it reminds me of _______________" (insert some evil or ugly kid that he went to school with). Anyway, the reason I bring this up this morning as I'm waiting to go to WW, the name Avery has been popping up randomly lately and I think its a sign. I had first heard it about a week ago and I did the ol hmmm thats such a pretty name.. for a boy or a girl but I'm leaning towards girl. Theeeeeennnn I heard it once more that day and again the next day. My mom was sitting with me when I heard it again and I told her that name is calling to me, she's like "oh wow I just said that name to my hair dresser today because I was talking about the host of some show and her name is Avery". How weird is that?? Its such a beautiful name that I might have heard once in my life and now its everywhere I turn. Don't you find that happens with a lot of things? Anyway, I digress... so again, my point, I just was just reading someone's blog this morning and there is was again ~ Avery.
Up until this point I always thought my first daughters name would be Layla.. now I'm torn. What are some names that you all really love?? Lets play together...
Ok off to WW, wish me luck... again! xoxo
Labels: about me
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Hey folks, so I weigh in tomorrow morning, darn. I skipped out last week. I blogged about toying with the idea of bailing but who am I kidding, I knew I wouldn't go. So, anyway, I knew I would not skip 2 weeks in a row, that guilt of that would kill me. I have been hovering around 156 for weeks upon weeks now.. I sort of bounce between 155.2 to 156.6 and everywhere in between. So I'm starting to lose track of what the exact number is at weigh in and whether I'm up or down, its never considerable either way.. I'm just at a plateau. But I hate to even say plateau because it makes me feel like I'm doing all the right things and my weight just won't budge when thats not really the case.. I'm doing all the right things to maintain but all the wrong things to lose. So, I ran yesterday and today.. felt awesome, I also wore my Garmin when I worked today and it said I burned over 500 cal doing that alone... (its the one thing that keeps me sane while landscaping.. blah). So I hope thats enough to at least let me lose a little. Just a little I'm not asking for much. So anyway, I'll be checking back in tomorrow, wish me luck. Survivor, my bed and my boyfriend are all calling my name right now. Night Peeps xo
... that playing tv bingo is a blast.
... that I'm not really cut out of landscaping. I'm doing it, but not loving it.. I really need a job!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
... that I have yet another follower. Welcome Bringing Pretty Back!!! I heart new followers.
... that there was this guy who bought a painting at a flea market for $4. He actually didn't care much for the painting and had bought it for the frame. When he got home he went to take out the painting and behind it folded up was an original copy of the Declaration of Independence. He sold it at auction for $2.4 million.
... that the book Women Food and God sounds enlightening. I will buy it, I feel major inspiration coming on. Did anyone else watch Oprah today? I could write on book on just what I learned from that episode.
... that my mother dislocated her shoulder in Cuba, she walked off a footbridge in the lobby of their resort into a foot of water. Geez she's clutsy. I feel so bad for her but at least she's not in a cast for my brothers wedding tomorrow!
... that Niecy got voted off DWTS... booo.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
... that I have a new follower, welcome Tricia!!
... that the Montreal Canadiens won last night and they are going to game 7 against Pittsburg tomorrow... oooooohhh my dad is hating being in Cuba right now... wahahahaha
Monday, May 10, 2010
... what one of my blogger friends looks like and she's so cute! You know who you are *wink*.
... that Iron Man 2 is really good and Mickey Rourke is a badass.
Anway, back to the watch. So, my favorite part of it, besides the watch itself, is the ant stick. As soon as your watch is in range of it, it automatically trasmits your info to it. Then you plug it in to your computer and it downloads your session to a really cool program that you can keep track of it all. It even tells you all your stats, its shows me on a chart when I was walking or jogging slowly or jogging.. I am so addicted to this new gadget. I've actually created spread sheets before that I could track my exercise mins and calories but it was always guestimation, this is so accurate and effortless.. I'm in love! It has gotten me my running mojo back and has made it fun again. I'm going to start running new paths and seeing how I can push myself and it will be so fun.
I also did some birthday shopping, its all about giving money in this family and I feel like I really need to buy myself new stuff cause thats the point right. I know I have bills to pay but it just doesn't seem right spending bday money on that. I bought lots of shirts, tons of new tops which i was in need of and I bought a new pair of running capris for the summer and a summer running top. I'm anxious to wear them so it needs to get hot fast! Do you ever find that when you go looking for something specific (clothes wise) its the one thing you can't find? I have it in my head that I want a hooded vest that zips up in the front and the pockets zip. Does that seem like too much to ask? It seems pretty simple to me. Well, I don't live in a big city but we do have lots of shopping and a mall and I went EVERYWHERE, 2 sports stores, and I can't find anything similar to that. Lots of that style with longs sleeves, 3/4 sleeves and short sleeves, NO VESTS and I found 1 vest with no hood and the pockets were just open. I was ready to let go of the hood but I need the pockets to zip when I'm running. Well, anyway that was kind of a rant... but honestly, I just have it in my head and I won't stop till I find one.. lol.
So, I know that Garmin doesn't need my promotion but if they did here it is. I recommend any runners getting this watch. I know that Nike has something on the apps or iphone or ipod or whatever it is and lots of runners use that but I'm not a i-anything kind of person. I actually am not gadgety at all, this is a stretch for me but I'm so loving it, it may convert me to love new gadgets. Alright, thats enough for me for now. Peace and love, peace and love.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
... that eating a Flamethrower burger from Dairy Queen caused me to wake up looking like a chipmunk who's retaining water.... won't make that mistake again.
... that you should never grab something off the rack based on the size its shows on the hanger. I pulled a pair of XS pants out of my bag today... how the h*ll did those get in there?
... that my usual run that I thought was 5.5 km is actually 5.84 km and I burned 386 cals. I love love love my watch. I promise I will blog about it soon... lol.
Friday, May 7, 2010
... that I burned 850 cal working with my dad today for 4 hours! Thank you Garmin.
... that facebook is the greatest invention ever when its your birthday.. haha.
... that in the same shirt I can be too big for a medium and too small for a large.. like, come on!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
... that difference between Canner Lobsters and Market Lobsters ~ the size.
... how to work my Garmin FR60.. its rad.
so anyway, I'm back to continue this mornings post and I don't feel like I'm in any better a place. I actually struggled all day with the notion of not going to WW tomorrow. I have a couple free passes and I've been toying with using one. I hate having those thoughts though because I believe in the notion of owning up to the week and being accountable. The devil on my should however kept saying just blow it off then you can binge just like you've been dying to!! I know that I'm emotional this week, my brother is getting married next week and I won't be attending. My parents are taking off on Sunday and I feel like I'm being left behind. I know I made the decision not to go without my bf and I own that, in fact, I don't waver on that decision one bit but honestly my family is everything to me and I just can't stand the idea of not being at my brothers wedding. I'll never be in the pictures and the memories created from this trip. So, maybe I'm making excuses for just wanting to eat lately but I really feel disheartened and when I'm disheartened I just don't care. I'm not exactly sure how to get out of it and I'm pretty sure I'll just have to wait for it to pass, and it will pass, this I know for sure.
I know that I'm stuggling with the last 5 lbs and I constantly remind myself that its only the last 5 lbs, its not the end of the world... i've climbed my mountain already and I'm nearing the end of this journey. But is all that really true? Isn't it a constant struggle?? Sometimes I hear myself rant about losing the last 5 and I'm a little embarrassed because I hear everyone else saying the things I've caught myself saying about other people who are almost at goal when I was 50lbs overweight... oh god get over it.. .oh no you're 5 whole pounds over weight.. but here's the thing... maybe I'll never be able to fully understand what someone is going thru being over 300 lbs and maybe some people will never understand what losing the last 5 feels like but I can say with the utmost certainty, this has not gotten easier for me, its getting harder and I don't know where to go from here.
The scary thing for me is that I've been here before and I've cut myself some slack because I had it all figured out and hey whats gaining a pound when you only weigh 150 its totally tragic for me if I weigh 180 for example... but a lb is a lb is a lb and then one day all that slack I gave myself put me back up to 200 lbs. Simple, easy, effortlessly. So maybe I am neurotic about it all, in fact I completely own it, I know i'm a weightloss-aholic or a diet-aholic or whatever you might call it. My boyfriend said to me the other day that he thinks I'm scared to be done losing weight, that somehow I'll feel like its all over. He's so intuitive (and really cute) and well.. probably right. I completely obsess about my weight and my points and then find myself mindlessly eating and not even knowing whats going in my mouth.. what is that about??? Anyway, this has gotten out of control.. I swear I'm not losing my mind, i'm just venting at a mile a minute because thats the mood I'm in right now. I'm feeling sad these days and I just need for it to pass with time... and it will. Oh and btw my watch came in the mail today, just in time for my bday... which is tomorrow.. blah. So yay I'll totally blog about it soon.. its really really really awesome.. I love it!! Later my peeps xoxoxoxoxox
So, I only have a few minutes for a quick post but I'm feeling like I need to get it out. I'm really struggling with these last 5 lbs you guys. I don't know whats wrong with me and its not that I'm doing everything right and it won't come off its that I'm starting to do all the wrong things and I feel like I'm failing myself and thats ten times worse. Most of the days go alright, but I def find myself eating a bit more during the day and leaving less for supper. Then supper goes ok but by the night time I am ravenous.. every. single. night. and when I say that, of course I'm lying, I'm not ravenous I'm just raiding the fridge.. wanting all bad things and I cannot control it. Its hard living with my parents because I can't control the food.. and sometimes they have all the things I want but don't need. Crackers & cheese was last nights binge of choice. Anyway, this will continue later because I really have to go. and ps- working with my Dad leaves me so exhausted and sore by the end of the day I can't run.... ok again more on that later, just needed a quick vent. . to be continued.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
... that Sam & Stephanie from BL are in a relationship. How cute is that?
Monday, May 3, 2010
... a couple definitions of words that I didn't know the meaning of. 1. Formidable - Awe inspiring, or to arouse fear. 2. Abate - To lessen or reduce.
... how to drive a ride-on lawnmower.
... that having a wonderful dream is actually a nightmare when you wake to realize it was just a dream. I had a terrible nightmare last night that my bf's permanent residency card came in time for us to make it to my brothers wedding in Cuba next week. It hasn't happened.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
... that I cannot buy Nature Valley Sweet & Salty bars anymore.. They are way to much a trigger food for me. booooo :(
... that my Garmin FR60 has been shipped. Holla!!! Oh and Genie since you asked it's the watch that's featured on the right side of your screen.
... that there was a bomb found in a Pathfinder at Time Square. WTH?!?!?!?
... that Jillian Michaels has a new show coming out called Losing It With Jillian. Should be interesting.
ps- Josie I made that cookie thing tonight.. I'm dying to try it in the morning.. lol. I'll keep you posted.