Saturday, July 3, 2010

The wheels on the bus go round and round

Another hot weekend by the pool with a full house, and too much food and drinks.  I can see the summer is going to be a whole lot of this.  Well, I shouldn't complain, I'm actually really blessed  to have such a wonderful close family but I'm making myself always feel guilty about what I'm putting in my body.  My ankle is still out of commission.  I probably didn't take as good care of it as I should have because I really figured after a few days I'd be find but every day I wake up and it hurts just as much as the day before.  Finally, yesterday I bought a brace for it and it was the first relief I felt in a week.  Now my adorable neice/favorite little person in the world is here and I simply choose to chase her around and play with her.... ankle be damned.
I also started reading the book Woman, Food and God.  I have to say I'm very skeptical.  I'm not really one to read "self help books" and I have always struggled with the idea that my over-eating is a link to my past, or my child hood.  I guess on some level I believe that whole thing but I always find myself asking "is the reason I'm eating these chips because I didn't get something I needed as a kid".  I feel like if I keep digging and digging maybe I'll find something I can attribute it too but then whose to say thats the reason??  Who really knows??  Thats why I tend to lean towards the idea that its all bullshit.  I definitely do believe in emotional eating... but that makes perfect sense to me.  Food is comforting, it releases warm and fuzzy chemicals in the brain that ease pain and discomfort so on a very realistic level people eat when they're stressed, or sad, or frustrated and (for me) bored.   I've always struggled with eating out of boredom... that, and the fact that I love love love food.   Having said that, I do try to figure out why I love to be full..  maybe there is something in that.  Sometimes I feel like being full feels like a warm blanket around me. I don't like to eat till I'm satisfied...  ugh... when they talk about in WW I just want to gag...  full is where its at...  I'm never satisfied till I'm full.   Ok so anyway, I will read the book and I will keep an open mind and I will look for enlightenment but what I don't think I'm going to find is that one moment in my life that is causing me to always choose chips over apples.  I'm trying not to be synical but when it comes down to it I have to take responsibility that its all about choice.  These food make you fat - don't wanna be fat? don't these those foods.  Oh my...  hahahahahahaha if only it were that easy.  Maybe there is something to it...  maybe I even hope so. 


Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

Me too!! You spoke for me!

"I'm satisfied... ugh... when they talk about in WW I just want to gag... full is where its at... I'm never satisfied till I'm full."

Thanks, I needed to admit to that. That's why I'm always trying to trick my stomach into thinking it's "full". Of course, this is assuming that my stomach can think, which of course, it can't. And so forth and so on. It's the dog chasing its tail.

dawne said...

I'll be interested in your book review. I've had that book in my hands so many times,but I refuse to give another cent to the diet industry, of any kind!